AOTC - Attack of the Comedians
by Da2187Luke
Summary: It's AOTC with more laughs, guffaws, and trips to the hospital due to exploded heads! If u leave i review i wioll personally hunt u down and leave a review for u too, so leave ur screenname!
1. Hee

Welcome to my saga! I hope you enjoy and leave a shining review! Oh and i dont own any of the characters in this fic yadda yadda.  
  
There is unrest in the Galactic Senate; a couple senators looked down. One planet, under that crafty old Count, has announced their intentions to secede from the Republic, dragging hundreds of others with it, as portrayed in a shiny new book found at B&N. This has made it difficult for the Jedi order to maintain peace; they already have a hard time populating Rhode Island. Senator Amidala is returning to Coruscant to decide whether or not it would be a good idea to help the population-challenged Jedi.  
  
Ami: Are we there yet?  
  
Typho: What could possibly…  
Ami: Don't say it!  
Typo: …go wrong now?  
Ami: argh!  
  
The Royal Starship lands delicately on the platform and the Queen and her assistants walk out. Suddenly an explosion erupts from the ship and blasts the Queen sky high and into the depths of the city, never to be seen again. The real Amidala looks on in horror.   
  
Amidala: Oh. My. God.  
Typo: Um, nothing to see here move along nothing to see…  
  
  
People have now gathered in Palpatine's quarters.   
  
Palpatine: I don't know how much longer I can hold of the vote my friends, I'm already taking 5 different kinds of medicine a day! Every bodies leaving!  
Windu: if everybody leaves then, um 1800 minus 1800 is…  
Palpitating: my negotiations will not fail! Nononnonono  
Windu: if it comes to war, the Jedi are keepers of the peace, not soldiers SHAZAAM!  
Palpitating: Oh Master Yoda… will it really come to war?  
Yoda: I can't see… the dark side has put a sock over my little head  
Windu: maybe u should take it off…  
Amidala enters  
Palpatine: Oh my lovely little queen, it gives me great joy to my pace maker to see you again, alive and well,  
Amidala: Ew you perv! * She slaps him, he is sent to the corner and Windu assumes command  
Windu: Queen Amidala, I must address my… oh I can't do this * he kneels to her eye level* you must realize that their aren't enough Jedi to protect the republic is there is a full scale war  
Amidala: Well suck it up! *She punches him in the stomach and he keels over* I'm her to vote and vote I shall. All voting will be dome by me and I will do the voting! rarararara etc.  
Windu: * gasp * perhaps it would be wise to get a leeeetle more protection from 2 Jedi, say Obi and Ani? Come on, they rhyme!  
Corde whispers to Borde: She could use some lovin'  
  
  
Amidala's penthouse, in the upper east blocks  
  
Obi and Ani ride in the elevator  
Obi to Ani: stop sweating…you're sick!  
Obi and Ani arrive in the penthouse Ani slicks back his hair  
  
Jar jar: heysamesasoahappsietoseeyalgain!  
Amidala: Ani? Is that really you? Hold on. *she takes out a monocle and peers through it* It is you! Why when I last saw you were yay high  
Obi: We are so sorry about Corde  
Amidala: Bah she had it coming  
Obi: OK well we are here to protect  
Amidala: Protect-shmotect! I want answers and I want them now! No wait its all Kooku's fault. He must die! It must be died by him, if anyone's going to die it is Kooku! ARRRGGGHH *she rolls around on the floor foaming at the mouth Ani joins her  
Obi: Ani!   
Ami: Ani!  
Ani: Ami!  
Obi pulls him up  
Ani: I'll find these people and then I'll crack open a can of whoop-  
Obi backhands him: Don't disagree with me! We're here to guard her!  
Ani: Your mean!  
Obi: Shut up!  
Ani: No! they fail their arms around a bit and bellow and butt their head together and finally stop panting, Ami soon stops too. Ami pops up amazingly clean and neat,  
Ami: if you excuse me, I must retire. She leaves  
Door jar: Mesasohappsietoseeyallgainitsallbadnowallbad  
Ani: whatever, she didn't pay attention to me at all   
Jamb jar: shesahappsiemesahappsieweallsahappise  
Obi: Think good, not bad  
Ani: yes my master  
Obi: you know I like it like that  
Typo: I'm sorry to break up the whole psycho act here but I'm going to patrol uselessly downstairs for a while so, ta!  
  
Jango: what happened  
Zam: I used a missile but I hit the decoy  
Tango: how many points?  
Shazam: only 1300  
Tango: Next time go for Ami, she is worth 40000 points. Use these, *gives her wormguys * they have and ouch sting.  
Shazam: otay  
  
At night  
Obi: Typo is sleeping downstairs so no sane assassin would try that way. How's here?  
Ani: Quiet as a tomb. I don't like quiet I want some action!  
Obi: sh! You'll jinx us!  
Ani explains the security  
Ani: she covered the camera, I forgot it went two ways  
Obi: so she lying in there?  
Ani: yep all alone with only r2 seemingly unguarded…  
Obi: wait… your using her as bait?!  
Ani: so! I can sense anything going on in that room  
Obi: It's too risky, we're both idiots…  
Ani: I miss my mommy  
Obi: You just can't trust those dam senators.  
Ani: Palpitating is obviously a good-hearted man…   
The assassin droid flies around as the two are talking and deposits the two evil worms into the room. After they perform a spectacular song and dance number complete with a jazz solo on the sax and a tap encore right in front of R2, they hide away.  
Obi and Ani hear some excellent jazz music and start to swing dance, but realize that no one would play jazz at only 9 at night and rush in and smash those evil worms, before they hid away. In a fit of intelligence Obi hurls himself through glass and hangs on to the droid and it speeds away Ani feels up Ami and then rushes for a speeder Ani finally catches obi in his speeder  
Shazam: 20000 points!  
Obi: what took u so long?  
Ani: well first I had to get in, I over shot it the first time. And then I had to line up the key with the little hole, that took a while and then….*the chase goes on   
Obi: stop the ride I want to get off!  
They land and Ani chases Zam into a bar.  
Obi: Ani!  
Ani: Me!  
Obi: If you lose your lightsaber one more time I'll put it on a leash and attach it to you.   
Ani: Sorry Master  
Obi: that's right, * Ani rushes in * oy ve that boy puts pain in my heart where did I go wrong I thought I raised him well  
Ani: I think he's a she, and I think she is a changeling and I think the changeling had a relationship with Tango  
Obi to Ani: I will have a drink ha ha ha. Run along now * Ani sticks his tongue out at him  
Sleazbaggno: You wanna buy some deathsticks?  
Obi: you don't want to sell me deathsticks  
Sleazebag: Uh that's why I asked  
Obi: You want to go home and rethink your life  
Sleazebag: um No I don't.  
Ani misses Zam a few times, who hid behind a large purple twilek. Shazam sneaks up on Obi, who is making out with some girl. Obi catches the reflection of Shazam in the girl's eyes and turns around quickly, the shot kills the girl and not him, and he cuts ShaZam's arm off.  
  
Zam: Ow! Hey man that's not cool!  
Ani: Who hired you!  
Zam: You guys are uncool!  
Ani: Who hired you!  
Zam: Dude my arm!  
Ani: Who hired you!  
Zam: It was * a mysterious poison dart zooms out of now where and kill Zam  
Zam: I'm melting I'm melting how cruel the world…….  
  
  
Elsewhere  
Windu: well u two screwed up  
Obi and Ani are silent  
Windu: you both get separation time, Ani guards Ami and Obi finds out about the Baddies  
Ani: Ami won't like this idea of hiding  
Windu: who is the man in this relationship!?  
  
Palpatine: I see you Ani becoming the best Jedi I could have and whacking countless others to make up for losing your mom  
Ani: dude  
  
Obi: Ani is too rash and arrogant.  
Yoda: and where could he have learned this from …  
  
  
Later  
Ami: Jamb jar just deal with this whole thing, OK?  
Jamb jar: mesaacceptthisegreatgreathonorwithmuymuyresponsibilityand…Ah…  
Ami: shut up  
Jamb jar: OK * he leaves  
Ami: I don't like this idea of hiding  
Ani: look at me  
Ami: It's so childish.  
Ani: look at me  
Ami: I didn't spend 10 years of my life working against good just to run away  
Ani: look at me  
Ami: dude you've grown!  
Ani: look at me oh what?  
Ami: you're a big manly man now  
Ani: u know u like it  
Ami: don't look at me!  
Ani: Obi is holding me back! He is as tall as Yoda and as smart as Windu…wait no the other way around but the point is that he's mean but he's like a dad to me but I hate him u know?  
Ami: stop whining  
Ani: I'm not whining!  
Ami: of course your not  
Ani: And stop calling me Annie…that's not my name…I'm a man now not a boy, my name is Anakin  
Ami: ß it says 'Ani'  
Ani: Man! 


	2. heehee

Tada! Chapter 2! And when your done here read some of my other stories! And leave a review!  
  
On the bus where the people leave each other  
Obi: May the force be with you  
Ani: I would say 'and also with u' but I have to be different and strange  
Dorm: boohoo  
Ami: hey sister what's the prob?  
Dorme: What's the problem! The decoys are getting killed off! And I'm a decoy!  
Ani and Ami leave Typo and Obi   
Ani: don't worry r2 will protect us…..r2?  
Obi: I hope they don't fool around, I mean, don't do anything foolish  
Typo: don't worry she's got protection, I mean, she can protect her self, but I think Ami would be the one with wild ideas  
  
  
In Dex's Diner  
Waitress Droid: Some hunk here to see you Dex  
Dex: Obi!  
Obi: Dex!  
They hug, Obi destroys his robe.   
Obi: I have a dart that no one can identify, can u help me?  
Dex: That's because no one looks at funny looking cuts on the side, oooo wow hey Jo waddaya know? this here is one of those kamino xyber darts ar ar  
Obi: wonder why our droids couldn't tell me that?  
Dex: cause they're idiots  
Obi: well if droids could think then we'd be running for our lives screaming our heads off… hmmm, kamino? Where's that?  
Dex: they be cloners, that them are, on the outer rim arr arr, they be strange ones arr, not too friendly  
Obi: ?  
Dex: depends on how good your manners are, on the size of you pocket book harhar  
Obi: o…..k…… thanks by  
  
  
In the Library  
Obi walks around and looks at a statue, he touches it and it crumbles, he walks away quickly.   
Librarian: How may I help u?  
Obi: I'm looking for a planet Kamino, all scientific and hard data says it should be right here at these exact coordinates but its not in the comp  
Jocasta: oh dearie me now where could it be? *she looks in the comp  
Jocasta: Well if it's no tin our files it doesn't Exists you imbecile now get out of my library! * She beats him with a broom till he leaves. She turns to a frightened boy.  
Jocasta: Yes?  
  
ON the freighter ship  
Server droid: 'ey u! No droids!  
R2: beep beep (beeps indicate censors not his usual sounds)  
Ami: it must be difficult being a bachelor I mean Jedi  
Ani: ya u cant do a lot of people I mean things but people are things so I found a loophole so u might say Jedi are encouraged to be wild party animals  
Ami: bah  
Ani: You haven't changed a bit  
Ami: Hello! Earth to Ani, its been 10 years and I've grown 2 inches!  
  
  
Yoda's teaching room  
Yoda: use the force let it flow through u like a large pointy object, no Timmy don't give to hate noooo!  
One less student, obi comes in  
Yoda: obi! Meet the mighty bear clan  
Kid: we gonna rip u from limb to limb  
Obi: I can't find my plaaaannnet whine whine * he puts in the map display thing  
Yoda: ohno! Master kenobi has lost a planet! Find it we must! How embarrassing it is! How embarrassing. Mighty bear clan? What is kenobi? All together now  
All: a loser!  
Obi hangs his head  
Obi: according to all hard evidence it should be right here next to my extended middle finger  
Yoda: Can anyone help him? Anyone? Anyone at all! Please I waste 6 hours I day teaching you...never mind yes Paul?  
Paul: well an old Jedi obviously erased the files on the planet kamino so that wen he left the order he could hide there in seclusion and bring down the galaxy as we know it!  
Obi: but who could do this master Yoda!  
Yoda: I don't know, much meditating this will take  
  
  
Ami and Ani land on Naboo  
Ami: I was the bestest queen they ever had and I was obviously on something when I declined their offer to change their whole world for me but any way…  
At Queen jamila's  
Jamila: buzz buzz  
Ami: hallo  
Bibble: I can't believe everyone just forgot about nute gunray!  
Jamila: the day we stop believing in democracy is the day when the four horsemen of the apocalypse run me over buzz I am very concerned about yall you should find some where safe to stay buzz  
Ami: Oo! I know this lovely little lakeside retreat where…  
Ani: Ex scuuuuuze moi ma'am but I'm the head of security here  
Ami: …you can get a bed and breakfast and I used to hang out with all my friends there it's very nice and pretty  
Babble: I know! I'll say exactly what I said in Episode 1  
  
  
Obi flies to Kamino and arrives at the city. He runs to the door but gets soaking wet anyway. An alien greets him  
Tuan We: Hello I am Tuan We. We were expecting you Obi wan Kenobi. I know exactly what you going to say next and yes it was a long flight, so 2 doors down on your left.  
When Obi came back:  
Obi: I'm expected?  
We: Yes, and after all these year we were being to think you very rude.  
Tuan We took Obi to Lama Su  
Su: You will be utterly delighted to hear we are on schedule. Aren't you proud of our vast clone army for the republic, ordered by a Jedi council man ten years ago. and the first shipment that is now ready? You are aware that Sypho Dyas did this, no?  
Obi: Oh. My. God. Can I, um, see these clones?  
  
  
At the lake side retreat  
Ami: This place is so lovely, I used to hang out with my friends here, and we'd swim to the island and sunbathe there, and try to guess the birds from the calls we heard. Then we'd take off all our clothes and run around and burn incense and paint our bodies with weird symbols and then…  
Ani: nice back  
Ami: what?  
Ani: never mind go on  
Ami: this place is great the sand is so soft  
Ani: I hate the sand! Its hard and gritty and gets in your eyes and then you mess up a few wires and the droid goes on a Jawa killing spree and everyone gets mad at you… Here everything is so soft, smooth, creamy, and buttery…* Ani grabs Ami and gives her a giant bear hug, he pushes her and she falls over the balcony and into the lake  
Ani *not noticing Ami *: I shouldn't have done that  
  
  
In the cloning lab  
Tuan We: Here we speed up the lifetimes of the clones to about half the original times, and because of this we have to send them to prep school, or a torture chamber, which ever you prefer, where we beam lots of stuff into their tiny little brains!  
Obi: Hm, the Jedi order is like a prep school…  
We: Aren't they magnificent? We modified their genes to make them more obedient than the original host. The original DNA donor is a bounty hunter whom we keep here, Now get this: besides his usual pay he only wanted one thing, an originally unmodified clone for himself! Isn't that odd?  
Obi: What a nasty bad man  
We: we let him out a few times though, so we can change the sheets  
Obi: Can I see this, Mr. Fett?  
We: k!  
  
  
The picnic  
Mr. Sheffield: Where's Amidala?  
Ms. Fine: Oh I let her go on a picnic with Anakin  
Mr. Sheffield: You what?!  
Ms Fine: Don't worry don't worry I told her to wait half an hour after eating before doing any physical activities  
Mr. Sheffield: What's that's suppose to mean?!  
Ms. Fine: Oyve calm down! I got grandma yetta to talk to her!, wait maybe that's not such a good idea… yetta What did u say to Ami?  
Yetta: I told her… Go for it!  
Mr. Sheffield: MS FINE!!!!!!  
The real picnic  
Ami: What are you going to do? Use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?  
Ani: Yes  
Ami: His name was Palo and he had big dreamy eyes and curly brown hair…  
Ani: OK I get the picture.  
Ami: a bit older, very cute, we played doctor…  
Ani: Too much! What happened to him?  
Ami: He became an artist  
Ani: so he starved… I don't think the system works  
Ami: so what would you do?  
Ani: I'd become a tyrant and a symbol of death and fear  
Ami: Interesting  
Ami runs, Ani chases her. Ani jumps on shaak. Shaak jumps on Ani. Ani doesn't move, Ami checks, he still doesn't move, medics are called… 


	3. heeheehee

Chapter 3! i worked on this for so long and got the screenplay from Simply Scripts! review review review!  
  
In Jango's penthouse  
We: O hello Boba is Jango home?  
Boba: yup come in, Dad people are here!  
Jango: k!  
Jango comes out in a kiss the cook apron   
Jango: yes?  
Obi: You must be very proud of your clones.  
Jango: I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe. *wipes food from apron  
Obi: Ever heard of a man called Sypho Dyas?  
Jango: No  
Obi: Really…  
Jango: I was employed by a man named Tyrannus.  
Obi: oh? Well did you ever do jobs for him?  
Jango: I go out a bit  
Obi: Ever go out as far as Coruscant at a bar at 10 at night!  
Jango: 10:28  
Obi: Aha!  
Jango: oba'bay lose'cay he'tay oor'day  
Obi: Your momma! Are you proud of your clones?  
Tango: They'll do their job well  
They stand still for a moment, sizing each other up giving each other the evil eye.   
Obi: Pick you up at 8.  
Jango: Make it 7 we'll have drinks (don't kill the author!)  
  
  
At the lake:  
Evening   
Ani floats the fruit around in front off Ami, and force pushes her shoulder  
Ami: OOPS I've slipped *she fixes her strap * o! there it goes again, and again and the other one! And … hey! * Ani stops and whistles  
Ani: If Obi saw me do this, he'd be very jealous  
Later  
Ani: there have been so many times to day where I was just so turned on by you that I want to marry u and luv u for ever! I love you! … hey don't leave me hanging! We could keep it a secret!  
Ami: But we cant! Is would rip out our hearts and stomp on them and shred them to tiny pieces!  
Ani: I don't care!  
Ami: Nonono  
Ani: Yesyesyes  
Ami: nonono  
Ani: we could keep it a secret  
Ami: I gossip too much  
  
  
Obi sending a message to the Jedi temple  
Obi: Ohno! There's a giant clone army made for the republic that no one wanted by an old Jedi who left and is a very bad man and they'll be a war and everyone will be upset and people gonna die boohoo sobsobsob  
Yoda: ereht ereht  
Windu: Its OK once u put the smack down on Jango and bring his candy @ss over here everything will be better yo!  
Yoda: sdrawkcab gnikaeps mi  
Windu: aren't u talking this backwards talk too far?  
Yoda: !on  
  
  
Night  
Ani: no..no!..mom…no..no. huff huff … wakka wakka  
Morning  
Ani: don't go, your presence is soothing * Ami pushes him off the balcony  
Ami: shut up! * she sleeps 2 more hours  
Ani: my mom sniff is in danger sniff I have to go but I cant but I have to but I cant o woe is me  
Ami: shape up u wuss and follow me!  
  
  
Obi runs to get Jango  
Obi: You must accompany me to Coruscant where u will be subject to Info extraction please follow  
Obi turns and walks away, after a while Jango and Boba burst into laughter and fly off  
Obi: Doh! Forgot the mind trick  
Obi hops into his ship and goes after them  
  
  
On tatooine  
Ani: Watto! Where is my mother!  
Watto: Argh! U a Jedi! I didn't do it, it was an accident I was just cleaning the thing and …hey its lill' Ani how ya doin? Que pasa!  
Ani: Where's shmi!  
Watto: perhaps u could do me a little favor, after all, we're family   
Ani: shmi!  
Watto: fine, I sold her, but I heard she is married and fed too! Far away too bad  
Ani: Shmi! Where!  
Watto: okok! I got some papers in the back  
  
  
Obi Vs Jango in space yatta yatta moving on  
On the geoplanet  
Obi: Egad! Alotta trade federation ships around here! How strange…  
  
  
At the lars' residence  
Ani: Where's my mommy!  
C3po: yah… about that  
Cliegg: I'm sorry she was romping around in the sun when they spotted her 5 miles off and walked over, hit her over the head and dragged her off slowly, me and the guys were playing poker so we didn't notice till it was too late, I kinda extended the game by betting my leg, but as u can see…  
Ani: argh!  
Ami: deep breathes deep breaths  
Ani takes a swoop bike to the tuskens   
  
  
Obi sneaks in the big ol' hive thing and listens in on the meeting of Kooku and the other people  
Kooku: Attendance!  
Intergalactic banking clan:  
IBC: Adsum!  
Kooku: Commerce Guild!  
CG: Adsum!  
Dooku: Corporate Alliance!  
CA: Adsum  
Dooku: techo union boom shakalakaqumquatjizzijizzishazaam errweeoppgrrwowzipzapzop!  
techo union boom shakalakaqumquatjizzijizzishazaam errweeoppgrrwowzipzapzop!: yo  
Dooku: great! With our powers combined I am captain separatist!  
Obi: OH NO!  
  
  
Ani finds shmi and holds her in his arms  
Shmi: I………..luv……….ack………….i…………..ackk…………rosebud. *she dies  
Ani: noooooooooooo!!!! It's not true that's impossible bawlbawl * he bursts out of the tent and corners a little tusken child  
Ani: first you killed my father! Then u killed my mother ! I now u have come for me  
Child: eep?  
Ani: not today! * he goes on a wild killing spree  
  
  
In the temple  
Yoda: oy! I have such I migraine! That boy is giving me a pain in my heart  
Windu : Ah Yoda!  
Yoda; I swear Anakin is so much trouble and If I'm lying may I never live to stand underneath your wedding canopy  
Windu: Yoda! You're overreacting!  
Yoda: I'm in pain! That's it I'm going to jump * he hobbles to the window  
Windu: everyday you're going to jump! You're not going to guilt me this time  
Yoda: Here I go!  
Windu: Yoda please!  
Yoda: I'm going to jump!  
Windu: all right al ready jump! * he force pushes Yoda out   
Yoda: may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits, aaaiiiieeeeeee!  
  
  
Geonausea  
Obi: Ani? Ani where are you? Ani, you my only hope!  
Obi transmits message for relay to Ani r2 receives it and brings it Ami  
Ami: I'm so sorry about your mother  
Ani: bah she had it coming  
Ani proceeds to rant, rave and cry about a whole bunch of stuff not worth my time. In the end Ani is a very bad nasty man.  
  
  
Geonausea  
Obi to Palpitating Windu Yoda bail organa Ani Ami etc. in the hologram  
Obi: Kooku has created an evil separatist army that bad man and we're in deep podoo now! The trade federation is here…wait ohno! *obi moves of screen and a strange red chubby creature takes his place, it has a TV stomach and a strange antenna…  
Palpatine: this does not forebode well  
Windu: we are blind  
Yoda: I'm gonna jump!  
Ani: I've got to help him but I have to stay here and protect u decisions decisions  
Ami: well u can protect me on Geonausea duh  
Ani: Aha!  
C3po: oh me oh my oh no I've never been on a space ship befo'  
  
  
Croissant  
Palpating: The end of the galaxy us near! The only solution is if Jamb Jar saves us all!  
In Senate chamber  
Jamb Jar: mesasuggestaclonearmytoahelpinthisaboombangwar!  
Palpitating: I got him wrapped around my little finger!  
  
  
In obis cell prison  
Kooku: Egad! Ehu! What's going on here! This is a terrible horrid mistake! Madness I tell you! MADNESS!  
Obi: you'll never get away with this  
Kooku: oh but it appears I have 'a 'a 'a  
Obi: I know people! You'll be sorry  
Kooku: I'll petition for your freedom, maybe. What is a Jedi doing out here!  
Obi: I'm tracking a bounty hunter named Tango Fetish, do you know him?  
Kooku: Yes  
Obi: Oh, oh well I thought you would, never mind then.  
Kooku: Quigon would help me!  
Obi: Don't talk about my daddy like that!  
Kooku: I'll let u free if u join me and all the powers of 'ell!!!!!  
Obi: May all your daughters grow up to be spinsters!  
Kooku: Oh yah? Well maybe I'll just keep u here as a collectable! Muhahahahahah*chough! 


	4. heeh-*cough

Chapter 4! hopefully you noticed all the names i twisted like Palpitating and Jamb Jar...  
  
On Ami's ship  
Ami: look a vent  
Ani: where?  
Ami: dive! Dive dive dive!  
Down below Ani and Ami go in,   
C3po: What do u mean we should follow him and possibly help them out in a tight spot!…what do u know?…I'm a human protocol droid and u are …a …a garbage pail!….oh idiot!  
Inside with Ami and Ani  
Ami: the walls are moving…  
Ani: Hm… *he pokes the wall and bugs come squirming out, they escape into a classic scene from A New Hope  
C3po: Oh my goodness! Machines creating machines! How Perverse!  
Later   
C3po: oh thank the maker for a minute there I thought u wanted to kill me…  
Later  
C3p0: o 'ell!  
C3p0: my head! Who's got my head!? I'm so confused!  
In the end Ani and Ami get caught.  
  
  
Senate Chamber  
People: Vote Now! Vote Now! Order Order!  
Jamb Jar: inresponsototheimmediatethreattodarepublic…isuggestweletpalpatinebecometheemperor!  
All: Huzzah!  
Palpatine: I love you guys and I promise to never become an evil sadistic man! And now I will create a big army to kill lots of people!  
Yoda: I must go see these clones for myself, they're all the rage  
Windu: I will take 2% of our forces to Geonausea , which is really dumb, since the total amount of Jedi can be taken by all the new Yorkers  
Yoda: What is this neeew yorc?  
  
  
Dungeon with Ani and Ami  
Ami: I've been dying a little bit everyday since I met you  
Ani: You should go see a doctor  
Later  
Ani: well this is a fix we're in *the bugs chain em  
Ami: Oo! It reminds me of a time with an old boyfriend…  
A bug zaps her to be quiet  
Ani: Nono I want to hear this! * but the moment is gone  
Ami: before we die I just want to tell u one thing…  
Ani: yes?  
Ami : I want to drag u to my lair and then…  
But the crowd goes wild and drowns out what she says as the enter the arena  
Obi: What are u doing here?  
Ani: we came to rescue u  
Obi: A+  
The bugs chain them to the pole and Ami slips a key  
Obi: OK I'll escape and u stay her…  
Ani: But what about Ami?  
Obi: she seems to be on top of things  
Ami: always am!  
Ani: But Obi your all tied up!  
Obi: not the first time  
The gates open and 3 vile creatures come out: a jiggly puff, Barney, and a Furby the crowd goes wild  
The jiggly puff draws its marker and hurls its self at obi, he ducks and the chain breaks under the mighty marker and he is free. The furby jumps at Ami snapping its beak but she whacks it away with a chain, but not before it cuts her shirt into a fashionable bikini.   
Ani is too busy staring at Ami to notice Barney racing to hug him but at the last instance he jumps and lands on Barney's back, who smash into the pole. the jigglypuff puffs up at obiwan and knocks down the column to show his might! obi pales…  
  
Obi grabs a spear from a picador and Jigglypuff pounds the picador into oblivion. HE throws the spear at pokemon and it hits the puff. Jigglypuff starts to deflate like a balloon and flies around the arena, getting rid of countless droids and bugs.   
  
Ami kicks the Furby sky-high.  
Nute gunray: hey! That's … they… she cant do that! Time out time out! Cant u shoot her or something?  
Ani convinces Barney to hug the furby and that is the end of the Furby. Obi jumps on the Barney  
Kooku: na ah watch this * the teletubbies bounce out and surround obi Ani and Ami on Barney  
  
Footsteps are heard Kooku turns around  
Kooku: Windu.  
Windu is dressed in dark glasses and black trench coat with a chain he holds Jango hostage with a disproportionate lightsaber.   
Windu: this party's over, * Jedi pop up everywhere* cause I'm gonna put the smack down on your candy @ss!!  
Kooku: natch  
Big bad droids come to Windu and fire at him, he deflects and jumps over the balcony as Jango flames him  
  
The whole battle ensues chaos erupts there are bugs droids Jedi everywhere  
Ani: I thought u were going to negotiate  
Ami: these are aggressive nego- ah 'ell I'm gonna put the smack down on their candy @ss!!  
Ani: whip it to me  
C3p0: Die Jedi die! Oh me did I say that? I kinda liked it!  
  
The jigglypuff sneaks up on obiwan  
Droid: uhoh danger!  
Droid2: mr.rogers mr.rogers!  
Obiwan turns around and sees the infuriated puff, he kicks it sky high  
  
The Barney catches Jango and envelops him in a big hug, he then races for Windu, but Windu whacks off his tail, in a craze Barney tries to kiss Jango but he shoots him down. Windu charges Jango and lops off his head, which sails into Boba's lap, Boba faints  
  
Later the people are surrounded and Ani realizes he is surrounded by beautiful Jedi who obviously want him  
  
Kooku; I give u one last choice surrender, or die  
All Jedi: Ni!  
Kooku: I am sorry old friend but then u must die  
Ami: Everyone look!  
They all look  
Ani: it's a bird it's a plane its master Yoda!   
Yoda: I'm going to jump! A congo line around the survivors create!  
  
The ships blow up everyone and all the important people leave, big battle now droids Vs clones  
Inside the secret room  
Poogle the Lesser: where did they get so great an army!  
Everyone: Retreat!  
Dock: I will take these very secret hush hush plans with me  
  
Yoda: to the forward center command take me! … a strawberry daqiuri fix me! It must not be gotten away by Kooku!  
Ani: Blow up that ship!   
Obi: Good call!  
Yoda: that ship blow up! *it goes down, dust everywhere, very dramatic and cool battles scenes?  
Obi: better call!  
Ani: suck up  
  
Ami: Look Kooku!  
Obi: Get him!  
Clone: We didn't bring enough bang-bang sticks!  
Ami and clone fall out  
Ani: NOOOOOOOOOO! Go back I got to get her stop the ship!  
Obi: *slaps Ani * pull yourself together man!  
  
Droids retreat  
Yoda: very good. huff, bring me my ship!  
  
Ami: we gotta go back!  
Clone: Mr. rogers!  
  
Obi and Ani catch up with Kooku in the ship hangar  
Ani: You're going to have to pay for all the Jedi you killed! And you know how little Jedi we have already! You wiped out 2% of our forces!  
Obi: You go slooooowly and then I'll do…  
Ani: no I get him now!  
Kooku whips out a giant bat and hits Ani, hurling him across the room  
Kooku: Home run!  
Kooku and Obi spar, Obi gets poked in the tummy and faints  
Kooku moves in for the kill but Ani comes in from right field and blocks him  
Ani and Kooku spar  
Ani loses an arm, Kooku moves in to kill them both  
Yoda: not so fast bucko!  
Kooku: Who said that!  
Yoda: Down here!   
They force spar  
Yoda: the dark side I sense in you  
They lightsaber spar  
Yoda: you fight well my old padawan  
Kooku knocks down a large column  
Kooku: And now it is time for the evil sadistic decision! Get the villain for the greater good? or save your friends? AHAHAHAHAHAHA  
As Yoda save Obi and Ani, Kooku gets away, Yoda walks over  
Yoda: Hey! Your not Kooku! I was supposed to get him not save you!  
Obi: you wont regret this!  
The ship flies away, Ami fires at it, reenacting a great scene from Empire Strikes back  
  
  
Croissant  
Dock: the force is with us, I have the plans and the war has begun  
Sidious: everything is going as planned, heeeheeeheeheeehee  
Jedi Temple  
Obi: is it true what Kooku said, about the Sith winning?  
Yoda: don't know, he's very untrustworthy  
Windu: where's Ani?  
Obi: escorting Ami to naboo…I have to admit, without the clones, it would not have been a victory  
Yoda: victory? Victory do you say? There are now only 9,000 Jedi in the galaxy with trillions of trillions of people! Shut up boy! Begun this clone war has.  
Many senators look on in wonder or disgust as thousands of clones board ships.   
Far off Ani and Ami have a romantic marriage and a honeymoon not fit for a pg13 fic.  
  
THE END  
  
So that's all i hoped you liked it a lot! i hope it brightens your day!   
Ta ta for now!  
Yoda: It must be reviewed by you! 


End file.
